| Once again the dreaded date has come that is a cold reminder that Jennifer had to leave us three years ago. There has been little change in the feelings that came with that day. The pain still so intense that it hurts to breath. The heaviness on your shoulders so bad that it feels as if its all you can do to walk instead of crawl. There is such a desire to see and hold her that it feels as if my heart could explode. If I allow myself to feel to deeply I know that I could collapse and never again recover. I have to be strong (even when I don't feel like it). I have a job to do. I made a promise that I must keep. I have Jennifer's heart(Tyler)and I have to handle it with care. So I Try. So really just the year has changed and really nothing else. I just want to go be with her, something that I know most likely will not happen anytime soon.
Today is the first day of spring a time I know Jennifer loved. I know that if she were her she would be getting ready to plant flowers and make her flower gardens.I hope that where she is that is just what she is doing. I do also think she may be crying because she can't be with her family. That is what hurts so much knowing that I can't get to her and she can't get to us. I hope and pray that she is at peace and not sad.
All I can say is if you have a child and are reading this please if you can, hug them over and over. Who knows it may be the last just like mine was three years ago today.